Even though I should have been working and getting organized to go to Boston, I took the day off and went to Toronto to play with Mary. We had a gas! Mary showed me how to layer acrylics on rice paper, and we used her fabulous hand-carved stamps. She knew I would love it, and I did. Now I have yet another addiction to deal with, but I’m rationalizing this one because these papers will be perfect for the mixed media paintings I’m itching to get to.
Mary also gave me a crash course in metal embossing. This is yet another technique I’d like to explore further. But how can I fit it all in? Is there any way I can add more time to my day-to-day life…kind of like adding an extension onto the house, or a trailer to the car? I doubt it. I think I’m looking at giving something up – top choices: cleaning, doing my taxes and weeding.
I know I get way too obsessed about our art challenges. Once I’ve decided on the direction I want to go in, I can’t stop thinking about it. Why do I do this? It’s not that I’m competitive or need to be noticed. Most of the time I’m so immersed in my own little world that it’s a pleasure to step out of it and discover what other artists are doing – or more accurately, when I see how creative the other members of the club are, it enlarges my world and makes it full of possibilities.
No, I think my problem is that I’m too task-oriented. After being self-employed for so many years, I’m geared to deadlines and pushing myself forward to meet them. Once I know what my approach is, I want to focus all my energy on finding out what the end point will be. Instead of researching our trip to Boston next week, which is really more of a priority, I’m making sketches and endlessly digging through boxes of fabric, embellishments and paint. This time I’m trying to control my inclination to complicate things by reminding myself: “What is it that I’m really trying to express here?”
From time to time I’ll have a dream about art. But last night I actually had two. In the first one, I dreamt about a cabinet card that had no image. As I looked at it, a face slowly materialized and I recognized her. It was one of the cabinet cards I’d bought in Seattle, so I had to play with it today. The problem is that it’s difficult to recreate the feeling you had in the dream state. At best you get an approximation. But usually you end up with something completely different – like I did with this image of Maxine. (I’m calling her Maxine because the photographer was Max von Rudiger of Berlin).
If I hadn’t had this dream, I don’t think I would have altered Maxine. I wasn’t drawn to her, and the photograph isn’t a good one. Still, when an image calls to you, you have to respond. Now that it’s finished, I think I like the idea more than the result.The other dream I had was about our next challenge for the Extraordinary Art Club. Carmi assigned us a bottle cover to alter, and I haven’t had a clue what to do with it. For one thing, I’m not supposed to change the shape, so there goes my plan to bury it in plaster…my usual solution when I don’t know what to do with something. I’m also not that comfortable working with fabric. However, my dream presented me with an image I’m going to try and work with…an art fetish object. Not sure if I can pull it off though.
I’ve had a lot of trouble with Lucy. Not that I know what her real name is, but she reminds me of my great-aunt Lucy who was still mountain climbing well into her seventies. This Lucy must have been a feisty one too because she dug in her heels and wouldn’t let me alter her until I began listening to her. So as usual, it was what I took out that allowed me to finish Lucy, not what I was trying to put in.One of the challenges of working with an image like this is wondering why anyone would part with it in the first place. Posing for a photographer was obviously a special occasion for Lucy. She’s wearing a lovely dress with a watch pinned to her bodice. Her hair is glossy and poufed…the expression on her face sweetly serene. When this picture was taken, Lucy was a real person with real thoughts and feelings. But somehow along the way she became anonymous. My task was to give her a new identity, and I hope she’s happy with what I did.
Here are my top ten time wasters:- Sleeping in. Technically I’m not really doing this because I usually only sleep about six hours a night. But this may be why it takes me so long to get going in the morning.
- Emailing, calling and socializing with friends and family. Do I really need to talk to my sister nearly every day? Probably not, but I want to.
- Dealing with unexpected things that come up. Why does Lily always head for the living room carpet when she needs to throw up?
- Looking for things I can’t find. Yesterday John and I spent ages trying to find my black dye re-inker. He called me while I was out grocery shopping to tell me he thinks I might have left it at Mary’s. (How many weeks has the poor guy spent helping me find things over the years? And really, how can he stand it?)
- Not being decisive enough. I waste an incredible amount of time worrying about whether or not I’m making the right decision about something. Then when I finally do commit, I waste even more time obsessing about it afterwards.
- Being distracted by bright shiny objects. Or muted ones as the case may be. Life is so interesting; it’s hard to resist the lure of everything going on out there.
- Puttering. Personally I think the art of puttering is highly under rated. I get so many ideas leafing through books and rummaging through art supplies. If I had a dollar for every idea I’ve come up with, I’d be a millionaire.
- Staring at the wall, or whatever. This morning I lost a half an hour sitting on the back porch basking in the sunlight and drinking tea. Can’t remember what I was thinking about, but I did see a cardinal and admired my lilacs.
- Cooking and cleaning. Seriously, there are many people I know who do this so much better than me.
- Making lists like this one. I have lists of places I want to go, favorite books and movies, art techniques I want to try, novels I want to write, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. (Apparently making lists is not only a sign of being an oldest child, but also of Attention Deficit Disorder). What can I say? Today I’m thinking that who I really am is how I waste time.
Here is a photo of one of David’s glass bricks for sale at the Sandra Ainsley Gallery in Toronto. I love this piece because of the cuneiform alphabet etched into the glass. When light shines through the back you really feel like you’re looking into a window on the past.
On the way back from Mum’s birthday party last night, David and I got into an intense conversation about art. He told me he went through a long period of wondering whether or not he should be adding more objects to a world that already seemed to have too many. Then his friend Sally (also a glass artist) said she’d gone through a similar period of doubt herself. But she finally decided that doing art was her way of giving back what she was experiencing about life.
David also mentioned he finds it difficult to part with what he’s made. I know what he means. The pieces we create act as markers along the way. We like to have them around to fondle, to remind us that our ideas really can become tangible. I told David that I look on the pieces of art I make as children. One part of you wants them to stay and home and never leave you; the other part is anxious for them to spread their wings and explore all the possibilities. Fortunately there’s always a new child wanting to be born, so when we part with what we’ve already made, there’s more room in the creative nest for our ideas to grow.
I haven’t been doing much journaling lately, although I think my digital work is really a form of keeping track. If I arranged everything according to the date it was done, it would certainly present a visual record of what I was doing, thinking and learning.
For the last few days I’ve been reading The Creative License by Danny Gregory and it’s chock full of interesting exercises about drawing and journaling. He says: “Your journal shouldn’t be a dumping ground, but a place to create, recognize and celebrate beauty and joy, that which is in all things. It should be a friend you have a great time with, not a shoulder to whine on. Commemorate the positive. Eliminate the negative.”
Even though I’ve had marathon whining sessions in various journals I’ve kept over the years, I’d have to say the ones I treasure most are those where I really get deeply into my own creativity – and in particular, when I combine stamping and drawing.
I also find it inspiring to look at what other people do. Jeanne Schedler emailed me several pages from her most recent journal and I love the way she spontaneously incorporates what I’d refer to as high end doodles with her observations about things. Last night Susan Wilkie came over for a visit, and she showed me her process journal. I was intrigued by the way she makes no nonsense notes about techniques she wants to try and images she’s drawn to.
On the shuttle to Artfest, I sat next to Maija Lepore. She told me about her article on altering cabinet cards in the latest issue of Cloth Paper Scissors. By a weird coincidence, I’d just bought a number of cabinet cards in Seattle the day before intending to alter them in Photoshop. Well, I finally got around to playing with one of the images today.
In her article, Maija mentions that the first thing she does is to ask herself what the story is behind the photograph. I didn’t do that…mine just sort of evolved. But now I’m thinking that it would be interesting to write a story about this mystery woman as evolution always has a purpose in mind.
The lotus flower suits “Margaret” because she has a contemplative expression. She’s dressed plainly too, so I’m thinking she might have had to earn her own living…hence the border of Pittman shorthand scanned from a Charles Dickens’ novella, The Battle of Life, that Mary gave me a few sheets from. I don’t have a clue what the story is about though. I read the first couple of paragraphs online, and all I can say is – it was obvious old Charles got paid by the word. (You work it, boy!) So now I have the beginning of Margaret’s story. Will it be a mystery? A metaphysical romance? Will I be interested enough to find out who she is and where she’s from?
This is one of the digital collages that Fanzorelli’s didn’t take. But my niece Kira loved it so I gave it to her.
Speaking of family, David graduated from Art College on Thursday night, and Emma stayed up until 3 a.m. finishing off two industrial strength papers. Now second year law school is done! I stayed up with her, and fixed my printer. If I had yet another alternative life, I’d be a computer repairperson with a tool belt and a Blackberry. It’s very satisfying work – when it works. John has started calling me Wilhelmina Gates. Of course Bill probably has a ton of lackeys doing his grunt work.
I managed to finish four pages of my book yesterday even though I wasn’t in the mood. I would much rather have been responding to my Texan friend Jeanne Schedler’s long, fascinating email. But I’m trying to be disciplined.
We had a celebration dinner for the kids last night, and then watched Deal or No Deal. (Sometimes sinking to the lowest common denominator is the ideal way to refuel).
I’m off in a few minutes to go to an out-of-town wedding for the rest of the weekend with my extended family. I think it was Thoreau who said: “Beware of any enterprise that requires new clothes”…i.e. I’d like to know if pantyhose are actually designed to fit real women.
This has been an A-Number One week for mail. RubberStampMadness came yesterday, and the 4-page spread on Mary looks great. I’m thrilled to see her creativity get the attention it deserves. I just hope I did her justice in the article that accompanies it. RubberStampMadness also published a letter from a California woman who found two of my previous columns helpful. That was nice to know, and I’m going to reread her letter before I start working on my book again tomorrow .
On Monday, the zines and creativity decks I ordered arrived from Randi Feuerhelm in Iowa. After gorging on all her ideas for a couple of hours last night, I’m inspired to start working on a new journal.
I also received a couple of art supply catalogues from Daniel Smith. Both are packed with a luscious array of supplies and all sorts of creative tips. I wish I’d had the time to visit their store in Seattle when I was at Artfest.
Today started out serenely enough, but degenerated into frustration when I decided to rewrite my lead for an article I was sending off. It took me two hours to rework three sentences. Two hours! The problem is that when you change one word in a sentence you’re forced to change everything else. But enough about writing. Thankfully I don’t find I obsess about it when I’m doing this blog.
I managed to get together six rubber stamp designs together to send off to Teesha Moore’s Art & Life zine this afternoon. Hopefully one of them will be good enough to make it to the zine’s next sheet of rubber. I’ve always fantacized about having my own line of stamps. But when you actually sit down to do it, it’s hard to be consistent design-wise. I don’t know how Teesha and Tracy manage with with Zettiology .
Tonight I got lost in Photoshop. First I formatted and sent off the star map I’d promised Beverly Dalton, and then I decided to play around with a picture of myself from the 70s. Nothing I did seemed to click.
But then I remembered youtube.com . John has me hooked on watching their old music videos. We watched our favorite – Why Go by Faithless – a couple of times, and then I just had to come upstairs to my own computer, and start looking at Dave Clarke Five videos again. Of course John caught me in the act.
“Are you laughing at me?” I said.
“I’m laughing on the outside, but crying on the inside,” he replied.
What can I say? I saw the Dave Clark Five back in the 60s at Maple Leaf Gardens, and they were FAB. (Fab is definitely a DC5 word).
My, I’ve really gotten off track here. What I intended to write about tonight was France. On Friday night at our art group, Shoshanna showed us this fabulous book of Larousse engravings that she’d bought at a flea market when she was in Paris with Carmi. Well, I don’t know about everyone else, but Cherri and I just freaked! It started me thinking about the time we went to Nice in the early 90s. We stayed in Queen Victoria’s former summer home. The suite we shared with our extended family was actually the ballroom that had been renovated into a two-story apartment. Apparently Henri Matisse lived there too, although not at the same time obviously. Anyway, I dug out this picture I’d taken in the lobby and played with it in Photoshop. The plan was to start adding things to the image, but I think I like it just the way it is.
Despite feeling punk all weekend (and I don’t mean hip and cool), I still managed to work on my creativity book, and I’m happy with what I did.
It was almost two years ago that I started making notes on it, and despite the fact I’d accumulated a filing cabinet full of “stuff,” I’ve made very little progress on my book until recently. I owe this rejuvenation to my creativity coach Beth Barany . I’ve been working with Beth for the past several months, and her provocative questions and insights have really helped me to find my focus on this project. And even though Beth started working with me on the writing end of things, she’s really helped me to zero in on where I want to go with my art too. I look on her as my main muse!
Complaining to Mary about my difficulty with altering the clock (our latest dollar store challenge) seems to have done the trick. She emailed me back yesterday with this advice: "Take one look at it, tell yourself it's only a plastic clock, nothing more and that you've had much more difficult things to do in life. Pretend it's 2 dimensional, but in two directions. Then you will have psychological control over it and it will be yours to do with as you please. The creativity will then flow boundlessly. (If this works, tell me and I'll market it)."
You've gotta love Mary. She's so upbeat and inspiring. To make a long story short, I took her advice. I decided to drop the plan to cover a mini flashlight with matching paper so people could look inside the clock and just simplify things.
But I can't deny that I found the whole process aggravating. As I said to Mary, I think much better on a one-dimensional surface. I'd rather spread out in all directions than wrap my mind around an object because the object always seems to defy me. I couldn't use Photoshop to erase the scratches on the magnifying glass, for example. However, in the end I think I did answer Carmi's question: "I wish I had more time for timelessness!"
At 3:30 a.m. this morning, I finally finished choosing, printing, framing and labeling 48 digital collages for a display at Fanzorelli’s. Strangely enough, the hardest part of the job was dealing with fingerprints. When there’s an upfront display of them on the wrong side of the glass, you have no choice but to de-frame the picture and start over all over again. Looking at my work today, I decided I’m basically happy with most of my collages, although the one of Bia and Sofonisba is definitely my favourite.
Bia was the illegitimate daughter of Cosimo de’Medici, and she died at the age of five – shortly after Bronzino did this portrait of her. I’ve always wondered what Bia’s life would have been like if she’d lived. Would she have been a political pawn and married off to an ally of the Medicis? Probably. But I like to think Bia might have become a painter like her contemporary, Sofonisba Anguissola.
A popular Renaissance painter who lived until she was almost a hundred, Sofonisba and her sisters – Elena, Lucia, Europa, Anna Maria and Minerva (whew!) – all had artistic talent. It was Sofonisba, though, who found fame and fortune.
While most women painters in the Renaissance (not that there were many of them) learned the craft from their fathers, Sofonisba’s father was a nobleman and her biggest fan. He made sure she studied with accomplished male painters, and even wrote a letter to Michelangelo raving about his daughter’s talent. Michelangelo sent him a drawing for Sofonisba to copy, and was impressed with her talent when he received it back. This just goes to show you what a supportive parent can do for an artist.
Carmi’s dollar store clock flew out west with me to Artfest – and then back again. I could have saved myself the trouble of packing, unpacking and repacking the clock in bubble wrap because I didn’t do a thing with it. I knew I wouldn’t, but I was afraid if I left it behind, I’d forget what I wanted to do with it.
Fat chance. Basically all I’ve done for the last couple of days is work on that clock. And when I’m not working on it, I’m thinking about it. Typical.
Speaking of Carmi and clocks, I took a break this afternoon to engage in some Photoshop therapy. I experimented with scanning some watch parts I’d encased in resin during a workshop with Carmi. It was very satisfying to end up with an image I liked – and I didn’t have to do any clean up either. John thinks it looks like a Russian poster from the 1920s.
I am busily formatting, printing and framing my digital collages to put up in Fanzorelli’s Restaurant in downtown Brampton next week. This all came about when Andrea and I were having coffee there, and Crystal (a member of the wait staff) wanted to buy the picture I’d given Andrea as a present.
Of course what happens when I start looking through all my digital stuff is that I’d rather create new ones than market the collages I’ve already done. In a perfect world I would just hole up in my studio Photoshop-ing endlessly without having to think about the business end of things at all.
I did give into temptation today and finished off My World, a collage I’ve been working on – off and on – for months. It’s one of those pieces that’s taken a tremendous amount of work. For example, I removed all the perspective lines simply because they annoyed me. The truth is: after about twenty hours of work, I’m not that happy with it. The rainbow gradient I used looks cheesy, but ongoing experimentation hasn’t resulted in anything better. Now that I think about it though, My World might work better in black and white.
If I had enough time, I’d start a Randi Feuerhelm fan club. She was one of the most interesting people I met at Artfest, although I didn’t actually speak to her until just before I got on the plane to Vancouver. But I recognized her dark eyes, pink hair (I’ve always loved candy floss) and cowboy boots right away. She was also carrying one of her journals, which looked to be about two feet long and about nine inches wide.
Randi gave me a copy of her Visual Journaling Zine based on the diaries and artwork of Frida Kahlo, and I spent a couple of wonderful hours today devouring her visuals, writing and ideas. She’s fabulous! I really feel inspired to try some new things in my own journal. And even though I’m trying to cut back on all the stuff I seem to be accumulating, I had to go to Randi’s website and order her other zines and two creative decks.
Okay, so it’s been over a week since Jane Wynn’s workshop, and I finally finished my project a few minutes before we were leaving for our 25th wedding anniversary party at Pam’s. (What does it say about me that I was more focused on doing art than the fact John and I were celebrating twenty-five years of marriage?)
Anyway, it wasn’t Jane’s fault I was so slow; she was a wealth of information and so helpful, but I was completely distracted by all the neat tools and patinas she brought to class, and I spent the workshop dithering around trying to make decisions.
I was also intrigued by what everyone else was doing. For example, Colleen cut the heads off her plastic animals and then interchanged them. Very cool. It was so much fun watching her work – Marti and Nadine too – that I ended up way behind everyone else.
But it didn’t really bother me. Thinking in three dimensions is always a challenge, I find. In the end, I was actually happy with how my assemblage turned out. Now all I need to learn is how to take proper photos of my work!
Anyone who knows me well would agree that it takes a lot to make me mad. But Anne Grgich’s class did. There were way too many people in her workshop and the room was too small. Because we were so crowded together, it made trying to do two paintings a real challenge. Plus I had a terrible seat. Every couple of minutes or so, I was interrupted by someone trying to get past me. Not their fault of course, but I found it difficult to concentrate and ended up having to stand for most of the day because there was no room for my chair.
Another thing that bugged me was that Anne showed slides of her work for almost an hour and a half. I discovered afterwards that I wasn’t the only one anxiously thinking: “How will there be enough time to do any painting?”
Now that I’ve finished complaining, I do have to say that I got a lot from the workshop in terms of discovering what I could do with my digital images in a painterly format, and I hadn’t expected that. It was an enlightening process, but I just wish I’d had more time and more space to take what I did farther.
I did this shadow box of Emma on my first day at Artfest in Claudine Hellmuth’s class. If you ever have the opportunity to take a workshop with Claudine: go for it! Not only is she a terrific artist, but she’s a great teacher too. She explains things so well, she’s so helpful and of course, she radiates that wonderful Claudine energy that inspires everyone around her. Because I know how much work it is to prepare and teach a class, I couldn’t help but admire both her generous spirit and the ease with which she gets everything across.
Oh, and another thing I appreciate about Claudine is that she gives you a little booklet that explains all the techniques she’s sharing so you can refresh your memory afterwards.
P.S. Emma loved her box.
Even though I should have been working and getting organized to go to Boston, I took the day off and went to Toronto to play with Mary. We had a gas! Mary showed me how to layer acrylics on rice paper, and we used her fabulous hand-carved stamps. She knew I would love it, and I did. Now I have yet another addiction to deal with, but I’m rationalizing this one because these papers will be perfect for the mixed media paintings I’m itching to get to.
